My Experience with Alcoholism

This week in biology, we had a "hot topics" class. For these classes, we are assigned an article to read, and then we have to use that article and other sources we find on the topic to answer questions.This week, the article was about the hereditability of alcoholism. Researchers have found that genetics explain approximately 50% of alcohol dependence. This topic really shook me, but not because anyone in my family is an alcoholic. I know I talk about my boyfriend, Jordan, a lot, but that's because he is such a huge part of my life. The reason for this isn't because I'm just a naive 18-year-old who's life is completely focused around my boyfriend, but because I am one of the few stable people Jordan has in his life. Over the course of our two-year relationship, I've often been a mother to him in addition to being a girlfriend. This is because Jordan doesn't have a mom or a dad anymore. Alcoholism has destroyed both of them. Jordan's father has been an alcoholic since before Jordan was born. His struggle with alcohol intensified for years until it lost him his job, his wife, and ultimately his family. When Jordan was in 5th grade, his parents went through a very nasty divorce. His dad, in addition to being a violent alcoholic, had been having an affair, and it tore his mother apart. His father left and his sons (Jordan has 2 older brothers) did not hear from him in years. Soon after the divorce, Jordan's mom began to drink too. Slowly, she changed from a loving mother to an unpredictable, unreliabe, irresponsible woman whose life revolved entirely around drinking. Jordan's older brothers were out of this house by this time, so it left only Jordan and his alcoholic mother. His mom was fired from her job, tossed away most of her money on booze, starting dating a very shady guy, and completely stopped acting like a mother. Jordan had no one to buy him groceries, sign his permission slips, drive him places, or check if he had his homework done. His mom would go in cycles. One day she would apologize to him, promise to change, buy him lots of nice things, and act like a mom for a few days, but then she would always ultimately fall back into the old routine of never being home, not supporting him, and not being any sort of parent. The string of broken and empty promises and continuous abandonment hurt Jordan very deeply. Because of this situation, Jordan has essentially raised himself since he was in 5th grade. He would go days or weeks without his mom ever coming home, until one day about a year and half ago when she stopped coming home at all. Without telling him, she moved all of her things out of their house and into her boyfriend's place. Since then, Jordan has been living by himself. Although this situation is awful, he is lucky to have people to support him. Jordan's oldest brother has a family and a demanding job, but he helps out as much as he can. Other than this brother, Jordan doesn't have much of a family of his own, but he is very much a part of my family. My parents love him, and he gets along great with all of my siblings. My grandmas, aunts, uncles, and cousins, especially the young ones, all adore him. As for me and Jordan, our relationship is different than most teenage relationships. Many of our "dates" have consisted of grocery shopping, tutoring, cooking, laundry, and paper work because he doesn't have a mom or a dad to help him with these things. Although it can be hard and most definitely heart-breaking sometimes, I wouldn't have our relationship any other way. Because of his situation, we are more mature and more responsible than most people our age. I have so much respect for Jordan because even though both his parents are alcoholics and they have both abandoned him, he is still a good person who doesn't use his family as an excuse for bad behavior. He is a smart, dedicated student, a talented athlete, and a kind, generous person who refuses to let his parents' mistakes define him. For this, I am extremely proud of him, and it is probably the thing I love most about him.